Dealing With A Loss: Grandchildren

1. Allow yourself to grieve

My mom and I would talk on the phone, and over time, it became clear that she had not dealt with her own grief. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions you are experiencing without feeling guilty or ashamed. Remember, everyone grieves differently.

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2. Seek support

My mom and I are very close, so I don't mind talking to her about the loss of my child. We talk about my living child, so it only makes sense to talk about my angel baby. If you or your child are uncomfortable talking about this loss, speak with a friend, a different family member, or a therapist. You can also search Facebook for a support group of other grandparents who lost a grandchild.

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3. Take care of yourself

It's easy to fall into a deep depression during these times. Eat, sleep, and take care of yourself. Find a hobby or do something meaningful. Autumn and I started Still Loved, but you can always take it easy, try going outside or on an adventure to help distract yourself.

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4. Create a memory

A memorial for your grandchild can be a way to honor and remember them. My mom made a blanket for us with pictures of our son, but there are many other ways to create a memory; we have suggestions here.

5. Give back

Giving back to others can be a way to find meaning and purpose in the wake of a loss. You can volunteer or donate to a cause that is important to you.

6. Journal

Start a diary or write your feelings. If you are having trouble figuring out what to write, you can get a journal with prompts. Autumn wrote a journal primarily focused on parents. If enough grandparents are interested, she will also make one for grandparents. You can check it out at babylossbook.com. 

7. Remember your grandchild

Keep your grandchild's memory alive by sharing stories and photos with others. Reflect on the time you spent together and the memories you shared.

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It is important to remember that coping with the loss of a grandchild is a personal journey, and what works for one person may not work for another. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult time.

Some people grieve quietly & others loudly. If your child is grieving in a way you don't grieve, that's okay. And the same for you. This is also a time to be respectful of the angel baby's parents. Listen to their cues & requests and follow to the best of your ability. Allow yourself to be sad; staying strong for them is okay, but find a balance the best you can.