Our Baby Loss Story

We want to celebrate birthdays by sending cards to any parent that chooses and build a beautiful, loving community.

Brandon (Bash's daddy) wrote this beautiful speech for Bastion's funeral service, summing up how we got here...

I remember being sixteen and thinking that I'll never have kids. I didn't like them and couldn't see myself being a dad.
A year later, I met Autumn and she definitely wanted kids. We got married at twenty, and I told her the only way I'd be comfortable getting married so young, is if we waited at least five years to have a child.
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Five years goes by and I still didn't want any children. At this point, Autumn was asking to have a baby basically every day.
Nineteen months later we brought our baby girl, Adeline into the world. Just like that my life was changed forever. I felt a love stronger than anything I've ever felt. At our postpartum checkup, my first question to the doctor was if we could start trying for another baby.

A year and a half later, August 2019, we found out that we were pregnant again. I really wanted another girl! Her name would be Clara Jean.
Twenty weeks later we found out the gender. It's a boy. I was nervous and scared. I already knew how to take care of a girl. Plus, we already had a name!

Five weeks later, the doctor told us he had two soft markers. This meant he could have down syndrome. We took some tests and found out two days after Christmas that there was a 99% that he didn't have down syndrome.
At this point, I didn't care whether we had a boy, or a girl. I just wanted him to be okay. However, we still couldn’t agree on a name.

Two months later (February), his soft markers were gone and the doctor told us we had nothing to worry about.

A couple of weeks later, it was time for Autumn’s sister's wedding in Florida. We still wanted to be as cautious as possible, so Adeline and I went and left Autumn in California.

On Tuesday, March 17th he was 37 weeks old and a healthy baby boy. At this appointment he was full-term and an estimated 5lbs 4oz. Strong heartbeat. Lots of amniotic fluid. Only three weeks until his due date.

On Monday, March 23rd we finally decided on a name! Bastion Porter Cohen. Our little baby Bash.

The next day, Tuesday, March 24th, we went to the hospital after noticing a low kick count. It was there that they announced that they couldn't find a heartbeat. He was gone. Two weeks until his due date.

On Wednesday, March 25th, at 2:28am he was delivered stillborn. He was 5lbs 9oz & 19 inches. He was absolutely adorable. Looked exactly like his big sister. A mom who had went through something similar, donated a cuddle cot so that we could be with him our entire stay at the hospital. We spent twelve hours with him.

These were two of the hardest days of our lives. Something I hope none of you ever have to go through.

I am deeply saddened that Autumn and I will never get to experience big milestones with Bastion, that our daughter won't get to experience being his big sister, and that he never even got a shot at life.
Bastion, if you can somehow hear me - I'm sorry your life ended before it could even begin. I promise to do good in your name. I promise to take care of your mommy and sister. I promise to never forget you. Mommy, daddy, and Adeline love you so much. We miss you every second. I hope we get to meet you some day.