Baby Loss Resources (& Gift Guide)

December 31, 2024

When we lost our son, we weren't sure what to do. We searched the internet for answers... Why did this happen? Could we have prevented it, and what do we do now? Our goal is to provide a resource center for you to learn, grieve, and educate others.

WHAT NOW?

Firstly, we are so sorry for your loss. We've been in your shoes & want to provided what has helped us grieve the loss of our son, Bastion. Many of these link to articles that Autumn had written while grieving, if you'd like to read more.

HOW TO COPE

This is going to be quite different for everyone. There are the 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Which is just a basis point, not a tell-all. For me (Brandon), it came in the form of; shock, sadness, confusion/anger (why me?), shopping, donating, depression, and finally acceptance.

It was really important for us, as a couple, to talk with each other. If you aren't able to communicate your thoughts with your significant other, try talking with a parent, sibling, friend, or find a Facebook group. If you're still having trouble finding someone to talk to, there are plenty of books and videos made for this situation.
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A therapist is highly beneficial. This helped us greatly in our first months without him.

(When experiencing depression, it is so important to get help if you are experiencing depression. Please, if you have suicidal thoughts, seek help! Suicide hotline: 800-273-8255)

Easy therapy access: BetterHelp, TalkSpace, or Online Counseling

I'd like to add a bit more of coping mechanisms we used:

• Retail Therapy - Boy, did we shop. I set out to find something I could wear with Bastion's ashes. I found an Etsy shop that made a bracelet with my son's name engraved. We bought a weighted teddy bear, a shadow box, bracelets, beads to make bracelets, picture frames, the list goes on. Maybe this is considered unhealthy, but all of it made us feel better. At the very least, get a teddy bear to cuddle with (even better if you already had one ready for your baby). I can't tell you how much this helped.

• Donating - This was and still is a coping mechanism for us. We searched for charities to donate to, but had a hard time finding one that fit what we were looking for. We created Still Loved for this reason.

Blog: 10 WAYS TO COPE WITH BABY LOSS

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CREATING MEMORIES AT THE HOSPITAL

If you're at the hospital, you may feel like you have no idea what to do. We don't want you to have regrets, so linked below will be a list of things to do with your stillborn or angel baby. Cherish any time you have. I don't think there will ever be a time where thinking of our stay in the hospital won't make me cry. I held him, talked to him, sang songs, showed him videos, and napped near him. But these are our only memories with him, outside of pregnancy.

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Blog: BUILDING MEMORIES AT THE HOSPITAL WITH YOUR STILLBORN

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EXPLAINING YOUR LOSS

Telling family and friends about your tragedy is difficult. Some people won't know what to say and some wont say anything at all. You have enough going on, don't worry about making others feel good or special. It's important to take care of yourself and your immediate family. The hardest part for us was telling our 2 year old -- "We thought we were giving our daughter the ultimate gift... a baby brother. Instead we set her up for the biggest let down of our lives."

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Blog: TODDLERS GRIEVE TOO

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HELP OTHERS

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OTHERS

After you go through a tragedy like this, you find out that it is more common than you previously realized. Could your doctors have told you anything to help prevent this? Did they express to you that kicks counting can be a matter of life or death?‍

‍It is important to know that- this is in NO WAY your fault.

‍‍As you learn more about your situation, don't be afraid to share the information with friends and family. Hopefully they never have to go through the same experience. #BreakTheSilence

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Blog: PREGNANT? READ THIS!

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OTHER NON-PROFITS

MISCARRIAGE MATTERS INC

Miscarriage Matters Inc. is a 501(c)3 recognized charitable organization, offering global support to Mothers and Fathers devastated by Miscarriage or Stillbirth through programs that educate the public, inspire healing through service to others, and empower the hurting.

‍‍‍‍You can buy their book on Amazon

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‍www.mymiscarriagematters.org

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